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california retirement living
HELPFUL ADVICE FOR FAMILY MEMBERS
* Make sure you understand the importance of someone having Legal and Medical Powers of Attorney for the patient. This will allow someone else to legally make decisions and act on your family members behalf if they should ever become incompetent. It can also avoid family conflicts over who should speak for your family member in the future.
* Become informed about Medicare and Medicaid. Have a working knowledge of what each program covers and pays for. Know the appeals process and how to challenge a nursing homes decision regarding coverage limitations.
* Know your family member’s physician. Schedule an appointment at their office to discuss and review your family member’s case. Be familiar with their office hours and schedule for visiting their patients.
* Become educated about your family member’s diagnosis / disease. Be aware of the complications, treatment options, and later stages.
Skilled Nursing HomesSkilled nursing homes are medical facilities that are allowed to provide services that cannot be dispensed ..... * Appreciate your family member the way he or she is now. Allow for recurring periods of grieving for yourself and other family members as the patient’s condition deteriorates / advances.
* Realize the nursing home will not be like home. It is a group living facility. You have been use to seeing your family member in a home setting with 1:1 attention and care. In the nursing home they will be assigned to a nurse aid who has 8 to 10 other patients to care for. There will be times in which your family member may have to wait awhile until their needs are seen to. Be patient with the staff. Imagine how it would have been at home to try and care for several individuals with varying needs and health problems.
* Be nice to the nursing home staff. The staff want to make you happy with the care they provide. If there are problems, you need to voice them immediately. But don’t be overly critical. No one wants to care for a patient when it appears that the family is always looking out for problems and is critical. Compliment the staff a hundred times for every one time you present a concern. Remember: No one will be able to take as good of care of your family member as you did (or think you can)!
* Realize that each person reacts differently to changes and stresses in their life. Your family member’s mood or behavior may change greatly related to being placed in a nursing home. This is a time of adjustment for them as well as you and other family members. Give each other time to adjust and be supportive of each others needs. Key: Don’t expect others to react the same way you do!
* Take time for yourself. If you have been caring for your family member for any period of time you now need time for yourself. Participate in enjoyable activities. Take a vacation. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to see after your family member. Notice I said "see" them, not "take care" of them. The nursing home is to provide for their care. You can help provide for your family members emotional needs by seeing them. If you don’t trust the nursing home in providing care for your family member, your family member needs to be somewhere else! Would you leave your child with someone you didn’t trust in providing for their needs? The key is trust, which leads to the next point.
* Human beings make mistakes and nursing homes employ human beings. When mistakes occur report them immediately to the staff. Nursing homes want to have happy satisfied patients and families. Don’t expect perfection. You will always be disappointed. Instead, expect your family member to have all their basic needs met in a timely and professional manner.
* Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage, i.e., visiting, calling, taking gifts. Be open with your family member and explain your needs in regards to personal time and commitments. Don’t feel guilty not being present for all holidays, especially if you previously were not present for all holidays.
* Adapt gift giving. Encourage useful gifts such as, easy to remove clothing, slippers, socks, audio tapes of favorite music or family members singing / talking, photo albums, subscriptions to magazines, or calling cards for long distance calls. Allow the family member to join in gift giving. You could buy the gift and allow them to wrap it.
* Last, ASK FOR HELP AND SUPPORT WHEN YOU NEED IT! Develop a bulletin board for listing tasks and responsibilities. If someone ever asks, "What can we do to help?" you can respond with a specific idea.
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